Why did the duck cross the road?
- He was tied to the chicken.
At what time does a duck wake up?
- At the quack of dawn.
What do ducks have with soup?
What do ducks watch on TV?
Where did the duck go when he was sick?
- To the ducktor!
A rabbit and a duck went to a restaurant for dinner. Who paid?
- The duck because he had the bill.
What do you call a crate of ducks ?
- A box of quackers!
What is a duck's favorite dance ?
- The quackstep!
What happens when ducks fly upside down ?
- They quack up!
What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework ?
- A firequaker!
1st duck: Quack
2nd duck: I was going to say that.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
- To get to the other side
Why did the turkey cross the road?
- To prove he wasn't chicken
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
- Because chickens hadn't evolved yet
Why did the horse cross the road?
- Because the chicken needed a day off
Why did the squirrel cross the road?
- Because he was stapled to a chicken
(This is the punk rock version)
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
- To get to the other slide
Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and
cross the road again?
- Because he was a dirty double-crosser
Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road?
- Because he didn't have enough guts
Why did the chicken cross the football pitch?
- He heard the referee calling fowls
How did the pig thief get caught?
- The pigs he stole were squealers.
Why are pigs always in fashion?
- They are sty-lish.
What do you call a pig who's been arrested for dangerous driving?
- A road hog!
What happened when the man stole a pig?
- The pig squealed to the police.
What does the little pig get every morning from his parents?
- Hogs and kisses!
What do you call a crafty pig?
Why did the pig run away from the pig sty?
- He felt that the other pigs were taking him for grunted.
What does a pig use to write his term papers with?
- Pen and Oink!
What do you call a pig with no legs?
- A groundhog!
Why didn't the piglets listen to the teacher pig?
- Because he was an old boar.
Doctor, doctor, I've got a little sty.
- Then you'd better buy a little pig
What do you call an unemployed goat?
- Billy Idol.
What do you call a goat at sea?
- Billy Ocean.
What do you call a goat's beard?
- A goatee
Where do milkshakes come from?
- Excited goats
What do you call the best "butter" on the farm?
- A goat
Where do cows go on Saturday nights?
- To the MOOOO-vies
What is another name for a cow?
- A lawn mooooer!
What do you call a sleeping bull?
- A Bull-dozer!
Why did the llama cross the road?
- It was the chickens day off!
What did the llama say to the blade of grass?
- It was nice knawing you!